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Alternate Vision

by AP Tobler

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1.
Playing the helpless victim Is your favorite game But in these dark cold eyes I see you just the same Your cliche vendettas They make me sick Easy or moral It’s your choice Take your pick You’re so intrusive and vain Your dying poisoned brain It kills me just to say that You deserve the pain You’re a harbinger of sorrow Dedicated to hold me down The hate I feel tomorrow Is nothing to what you’ve made me now You’re so intrusive and vain Your dying poisoned brain It kills me just to say that You deserve the pain Realize it’s not my fault And you’re the one who played me like a fool You’ve built up icy walls Destroying everything close to you You’re so intrusive and vain Your dying poisoned brain It kills me just to say that You deserve the pain You’re so intrusive and vain Your dying poisoned brain It kills me just to say that You deserve the pain
2.
I’ve been staring at these pages for years In a cyclical state Replaying all my fears And to trust oneself can only end in demise Bare my teeth, show the facade, and all the lies I was never here to begin with Swallow my self-made myths It was always slaughtering my pride These are my last goodbyes I’ve been suffocating Tearing myself up Reached the point of no return I’ve had enough With these solemn words I leave it up to you To hold back is to deceive So tell the truth I was never here to begin with Swallow my self-made myths It was always slaughtering my pride These are my last goodbyes And I don’t have a choice Something has to die to feel free Choking, lost my voice Who am I supposed to be I was never here to begin with Swallow my self-made myths It was always right by my side These are my last goodbyes
3.
4.
I hate the rain Washes away My melancholy disguise Time passes by I don’t know why I let myself down with every breath Mandatory secrets kept My memories unfold Can’t remember the last time I slept This feeling’s growing old, so Just tear me away I’m not from here I disappear Oh god, is this even real Mandatory secrets kept My memories unfold Can’t remember the last time I slept This feeling’s growing old Just tear me away My eyes are heavy from the weight of My own growing lies My chest is weak Can’t feel a thing I don’t want to survive Just tear me away Just want to be who I truly am And seen without disguise Tired of being seen through the Devil’s deceiving eyes Just tear me away
5.
Vacant 02:58
Reached the end before the beginning In this empty space I’m swimming I’m going blind My mind is spinning I’m done with thoughts I’m tired of feeling Asphyxiating words I craft to wound Never quite reaching who I wanna be, this all is too soon Apologies, I know I erased you And I didn’t mean to disappoint But it’s all I’m good for at this point Hollow out my skin and bones I’ve wasted them I didn’t mean to disappoint But it’s all I’m good for at this point Hollow out my skin and bones I’ve wasted them I’ll never grow It’s over now I’m over now

credits

released July 14, 2021

Music and Lyrics: Annapurna Knox Tobler

Performance: AP Tobler

Recorded, Mixed, and Mastered by Ryan Perras at District Recording San Jose, CA

Video and Artwork: Type It Down Productions
www.typeitdownproductions.com

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AP Tobler San Jose, California

¡grunge/queercore from the bay area, ca!

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